And one of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, "What commandment is the foremost of all?" Jesus answered, "The foremost is, 'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' "The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:28-31

When the second wedding in our family was approaching and a number of guests expected at my home, I began evaluating the poor state of our landscaping. In simple terms, it was a mess. Overgrown bushes, weeds encroaching on all our planted areas and one very dead oriental maple tree in our front lawn. It expired between summers but we had no idea why. I wanted to replace it but was afraid a new tree would succumb to the same fate.

So, after work one day I decided to stop by our local nursery to ask some questions about replacing the tree and discuss some ideas for plantings in the rest of the yard. The owner suggested adding a small pond which would make a lovely spot for relaxing or reading. He showed me a display with a fountain of rippling water and lovely koi swimming back and forth.

As I leaned over to get a closer look at the beautifully colored fish, I became aware of my reflection in the water. Suddenly, I remembered a Scripture quote that was sent to me as a daily reflection earlier in the day: "As water reflects a face back to a face, so one's heart is reflected back by another." Proverbs 27:19

I had read it the first time and had a fleeting thought about the ancient myth of Narcissus, a young boy who also saw his face reflected in the water. But I was busy in the office and quickly turned back to the work at hand.

But now that I had actually entered into the experience myself, I knew I had to go back to the reading and reflect on what both myth and Scripture had to teach me.

I recalled reading the myth of Narcissus when I was young. He was a young man who had gone to the stream to drink, only to fall in love with his own reflection in the water. Every time he tried to drink, the image would be broken, as would be his heart at having lost the focus of his love. So Narcissus would not drink. Eventually he died of thirst – and self-love. Legend has it that the narcissus flower bloomed where he died.

Any one who really studies our present day social environment would understand how narcissism could easily become a cultural pathology. Billions of dollars are spent annually to teach people how to love themselves, nurture themselves, fulfill all their dreams, reach their potential, be their own person, do their own thing,

Of course, when we can keep things in balance, learning to love and value ourselves is important. Self-esteem and self-respect are crucial to an emotionally healthy life and strong viable relationships. This positive self-image also enables us to be successful in life. But when we lose the balance, and healthy self-respect is replaced with a heightened sense of self-importance, then what was good becomes damaging – to us and to others.

Narcissistic behavior seems to be flourishing in this day and age. More than simple self-centeredness, it is often accompanied by an inability to experience empathy with the "other." The price for such behavior is alienation from the world, and on a more profound level, from God.

Scripture, on the other hand, never loses sight of the "other." Here, God teaches us that to really be free, to fully actualize our potential as human beings, we must live in authentic relationship with others; a relationship that allows one heart to be reflected in the heart of the other "as water reflects a face back to a face."

As for the pond, someday, when the expenses of weddings are done with, mine will definitely be filled with koi, not only because they are amazingly beautiful, but because I read that, in Japan, the koi symbolizes love and friendship.

It never hurts to be reminded of what really makes us whole.