When I was young and I would complain about some injustice in my life, my father loved to say, “Life’s not fair. Deal with it.”

I thought it was just his way of skirting the issue, of not having to deal with my earth-shattering problem of the moment.

Now I realize it was one of the wisest things he would ever say to me, and I know it came out of his own experience.

My dad lived through the Great Depression when even the basic necessities of life, like food and housing and clothing, were luxuries that few could afford. People lined up at food kitchens, hoping to get something to eat. Many had no jobs and were homeless.

He couldn’t go to the excellent high school that accepted him because there wasn’t enough money. He ended up dropping out of school in eighth grade to get a job and support his mother. That was because his dad died when he was seven years old. The worst thing was that his dad was murdered, a victim of random violence.

At 13 years old, my dad’s meager salary helped pay the rent and put food on the table. It didn’t buy movies or records (there were no CDs or digital music) or nice clothes or new phones. It didn’t pay for lunch at the nearest fast-food restaurant, a year’s membership to the local gym or something as boring as simple school supplies.

My dad’s teenage salary kept a roof over their heads, coal in the furnace and, sometimes, a big block of ice in the freezer.

To me, that’s one big, “life’s not fair!”

But my dad never complained. He was always aware of the blessings he still had – his health, his family, his friends, his freedom, his job and the incredible beauty of the created world. And he was very grateful for them all.

That “attitude of gratitude” is something I wanted my own children to have.

And so, as a parent in the 20th century, I told my kids the same thing my dad told me: “Life isn’t all beer and skittles!”  Ok, so it’s almost the same thing.

I also learned from my father that sometimes one of the best ways to deal with the frustration and pain when life is unfair is to spend time making life better for someone else.

My dad did that best by giving himself, his time, his presence, his love, and his laughter. And he always told me that it was the hard times in life that were the most important times of learning and growing.

Those were the time, he said, that God used most often to make good things happen.

And he was right. Just look at what happened to Paul and Silas. They were disciples of Jesus who preached the Gospel wherever they went so others would come to know and follow the Lord.

They were attacked and thrown into jail.

“Then the official tore the clothes off the two men and ordered them to be beaten with a whip. After they had been badly beaten, they were put in jail and the jailer was told to guard them carefully. The jailer did as he was told. He put them deep inside the jail and chained their feet to heavy blocks of wood.

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing praises to God while the other prisoners listened. Suddenly a strong earthquake shook the jail to its foundations. The doors opened and the chains fell from all the prisoners.

“When the jailer woke up and saw that the doors were open, he thought that the prisoners had escaped. He pulled out his sword and was about the kill himself. But Paul shouted, ‘Don’t harm yourself!’ (Acts 16:33-38).

Do you know what happened next? The jailer led Paul and Silas to freedom, cared for their injuries and he and his whole family were baptized and became followers of Christ. All because Paul and Silas never lost hope even when things were bad and sang their praises to God for all to hear.

To be a person like my dad, or like Paul and Silas, is to be a person of hope for others, especially when life has been unfair to them. And isn’t that what God taught us to be through Jesus?

“We have run to God for safety. Now his promises should greatly encourage us to take hold of the hope that is right in front of us. This hope is like a firm and steady anchor for our souls” (Hebrews 6:118b-19).

Live with faith and hope in the Lord and you will sing like Paul and Silas even on the most unfair days of your life!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Copyright © 2022 Mary Clifford Morrell. All rights reserved.